A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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