In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
