Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize