New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
