dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize