Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
