If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I stole a fireplace last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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