he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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