I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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