Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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