wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i think i just lost a toe
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
