Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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