making cat noises will not fix the situation.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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