guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
