Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize