Where did you get a picture of my penis
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
