woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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