I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
