Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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