Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
