Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
