she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I didn't notice because vodka
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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