My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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