you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
