In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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