i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
