Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize