Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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