My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
