i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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