it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
