So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
