white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
