My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
