Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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