His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
