Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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