let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
