U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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