are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
