What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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