I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
