so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
