That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
