the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
