So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize