I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
