I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
