We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
