I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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