Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize