its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
