Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
