im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
