she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize