some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize