last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
