Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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