My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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