It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
