Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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