never play flip cup with pint glasses
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize